Talking to Your Parents About Insurance

Are your parents adequately protected against financial loss? What if your parents' home burns down and there is insufficient insurance to cover the entire loss--can they come live with you? What if one of your parents is held liable for someone's injuries, but does not have liability insurance--will he or she be financially ruined? What if a parent becomes seriously ill and needs long-term care--will he or she have the financial resources to pay for this contingency? What if one of your parents dies unexpectedly--will the surviving parent have enough money to live on?
If you're a member of the baby-boom generation, your parents may be of an age where these concerns may be troubling you. The only way to get the answers and ease your worries is to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother and father. This may not be easy for some people, but if you shy away from this topic, the consequences could be devastating. Your parents were there to talk to you about the tough issues--now you need to be there for them. How you choose to approach them will depend on the type of relationship you share (e.g. adversarial, open and warm). Here are some tips on how to break the ice:

Prepare for resistance

Your parents may find inquiries regarding insurance intrusive, regardless of the fact that you're trying to help. They may feel it's none of your business, or that it's demeaning for you to assume they haven't made the proper arrangements. Be prepared to explain that you're simply concerned about their well-being and don't mean to be nosy or presumptuous.

Keep it private

A discussion about insurance involves issues that are personal. Broaching the subject in a restaurant or other public setting is inappropriate. Keep the conversation private, and choose a setting where your parents feel comfortable--at their own kitchen table over a cup of coffee, for instance. Also, don't rush the conversation. Even though you shouldn't expect to finish or resolve anything during the initial exchange, be sure you've set aside enough time to comfortably address everyone's concerns.

There's safety in numbers

If you have siblings, encourage a group discussion. If your parents see that all of you feel strongly, they may be more amenable to talking openly and considering your advice. If that's not possible, at least talk to your siblings about your parents' situation. Of course, if you have a sibling who is particularly good at rubbing your parents the wrong way, then perhaps you will want to exclude him or her from the discussion.

Be direct

Sometimes, the best approach is to put all your cards on the table from the get-go. If this is an option for you, find the right time and place, then just say, "Mom and Dad, we need to talk . . ."

The "I have a friend" approach

If a more subtle method is to your liking, you might describe an experience (real or hypothetical) that illustrates the consequences of not being adequately insured. For example, you could say something like: "Joe's father went into a nursing home a few years ago. His father didn't have long-term care insurance, so now Joe has to sell his father's house."